Words from my journal... 🦠
I've had my last words with this subject. It feels good to share it all as openly and honestly as possible and now I'm ready to put it behind me. The story below, was lifted directly from my journal. I write every single day in my journal, processing, reflecting, exploring my thoughts and feelings. As vulnerable as it feels, it's really nice to share exactly what I was thinking - without filtering or editing.
I originally wanted to share portions of this on my IG page, however I'm sensitive to some of the ideas and thoughts I have around and already worldly sensitive subject. So I know that if you're here reading, you're open to understanding my point of view and observing my process of healing from this event.
Anyways, thank you for reading. I hope you find my words supportive in some way.
"Wednesday, October 14, 2020:
Here’s what I know: Coronavirus and I, we have a relationship now. I hosted that entity in my body. There wasn’t a fight, there was just light. And a deep TRUST. As if the grim reaper knocked on my door and I said, “Hello old friend! Come on in! Would you like to stay for tea?” Covid was surprised by this welcoming embrace and he became more vulnerable with me as I did so with him. However, my body didn’t attack him in his vulnerable state. As we started to build a mutual trust in one another, my body’s immune response military infiltrated this entity with a loving light as I gleaned as much wisdom and understanding as I could from this being and all the mighty power it has held over our globe for the last several months. And this is the deep truth that this entity asked me to share: He knows what he is doing. He says we may not understand it right now but to trust that he is serving the highest good of all man. He is here to shake the ignorance and complacency of humanity. To destroy what needs to be destroyed so that new systems can emerge. He showed me that a new earth cannot be born without destruction, grief and suffering. And as he took me down, my ego and my body, so swiftly, I was resurrected. Made new again. It was a cleansing of fears, doubts and densities. I’ve come out of this experience feeling more light filled, strong, confident and just awe struck by the beauty of the world that surrounds me in a way that is more grand than ever before.
Coronavirus, you have brought great suffering to my planet. But you have also brought me so many outrageous gifts. I no longer fear you. I trust you dear friend. I welcome you, death, impermanence and all your sacred wisdom to never leave my side. Shake my ignorance when it surfaces, clear my fears as I pretend to be invincible. Remind me that death is always around the corner, so I don’t forget to keep living this precious human life with gratitude. Thank you for everything.
I offer you up now to the great mandala.
Restoring my vows as a Bodhisattva.
Here to transmute suffering and be reborn again and again until all beings are LIBERATED.
Here to continue this cycle of death and rebirth until all beings as vast as the sky are free from suffering and liberate4d into a state of complete enlightenment.
I believe in Shambhala, I know there is heaven here on earth. I know I'm here to create it for all beings. Thank you for this gift."
Thank you for reading,